Here, Have a Blog Entry

Of the many ways in which this humble blog has revolutionized the Internet, I am most proud of the harmony in which various forms of media live together. As these once-strange bedfellows work in concert here at Incredibly Loud Writing, so must your senses--auditory and visual--work together as you browse this site.

"It's kinda like listening to the radio AND reading words," said some guy at a party I was at, and I was pretty sure he was talking about this blog! He was mackin' on a chick pretty hard though, so I didn't interrupt to press him for details; rest assured that THIS blogmaster has NEVER blocked a cock in his life, unless it was to strategically deter the initial cock in question in order to (possibly/hopefully) insert his own blog-mastering cock at a later (bar close) time.

So, we've established two things: This blog is revolutionary, and people are starting to talk. Well, three things: I don't block cock. But the first two of these three established things are the reason that you're here today.
In the words of the illustrious Beatles: "There's gonna be a revolution, yeah, you know; we all want to read your blog."

The bulk of this entry will be in audio form, so put on your listenin' shoes now. Then, walk them shoes back to the store. There's no such thing as "listenin'" shoes--you've been had. Demand a refund, impart a great sense of indignation, and tell 'em that Chenowith's onto their li'l scheme.

Now that you've returned--$75 richer, if out a pair of relatively nice shoes (which, if you were really frugal, you'd have hung onto anyway; so the listening enhancement was bogus, but the shoes themselves were pretty nice looking...probably worth the $75...bad call, dude), we can get onto today's big announcement.

Imagine an Internet where videos could be viewed by you, the terrifically uncreative, easily amused, hygenically-unsound reader. Friends, the technology exists. I'll give you a moment to soak it all in. The world is changing fast, Gramps; better look around to catch your breath while you still can. Climb the mountain while you're young, without looking a gift horse in the mouth, for a hen in the bush is worth a penny saved in the barrel. The world spins faster with each passing rotation of the sun.

So NOW, assuming that you didn't waste all of your imagination on "an Internet where videos could be viewed by you, the ... reader," imagine that these videos were created by A.M. Chenowith.

"By Joe, it's like watching a television, listening to the radio, and reading words!" These will be the words that echo through each and every house party...if you make it so! That's right; the tables have turned.

If I'm gonna be slaving over a hot camera day and night to produce hilarious video content to go with the already-brilliant audio and prose, it is your collective job to bring people to this blog. Send e-mails, use FaceSpace, give away free laptops for anyone who gives this site a hit...it is incumbent upon you all to pull out all the stops to increase web traffic at this site. Always remember: You owe it to me.

I had considered preparing a speech to motivate you like the coach/father/mother figure that I am to each and every one of you. However, as you are no doubt aware, I've written and performed some of the greatest speeches in history. "Why not," thought I, "Why not recapitulate some of my finer oratorial glory in an audio piece that all could enjoy? Plus, that way, I wouldn't have to write another fucking speech. I fucking hate speeches!"

So, here it is.

You're welcome.

A look back at some of A.M. Chenowith's memorable moments in history, meant to motivate you all into helping advertise this site. Remember, Tucker Max got a movie deal AND won the 95th Annual Biggest Cocksucking, Entitled, Wealthy Frat Boy, Duke Blue Devil of the Year Award, presented by Entourage on HBO, and his bullshit writing started online too!